from haterman2266@iwon.com

Dear Shelby Redd - I can tell from reading your stuff that you are a conservative like me.  I believe in prayer in schools.  I believe the government is interfering with us being able to raise our kids.  But why don’t you ever write about the biggest problem in this country… ni- ah, coloreds?  Me and my Christian brothers in the Klan… brotherhood, think a lot of this bad stuff started because the government made us do affirmative action with the coloreds.  Why should we give everything away that we have worked so hard for these last 200 years?
Dear haterman:  If you’ve been working for the last 200 years, you must be getting pretty old by now.  For some reason I don’t picture you as a brain surgeon, so I wonder if you’ve ever heard of social security.  It’s time for you to retire.  Getting back to your e-mail, I am a conservative and a Christian, just like you.  I also have two arms and two legs, just like you.  And we are both stupid sometimes.  That apparently is where the similarities end. (As an aside: Aren’t you afraid some of your buddies in the Klan, ah, brotherhood, are going to think you’re getting a little too liberal when you call black people “coloreds”?) I have a buddy, Ballie Crutchfield, who is 6’6” tall and weighs 350 pounds.  He is black (colored), and I am scared to death of him, not because he’s black, but because if he ever got riled it wouldn’t be a pretty sight.  Why don’t you visit Coal County one day and I’ll introduce you to Ballie?  I’m sure he would like to talk to you about your concerns.  And lastly, haterman, you’re giving white people, conservatives, Christians and rednecks (like me) a bad name.  I get in enough trouble as it is.  I don’t need your help.  You asked for my advice… here it is.  If you haven’t done it already, maybe you should visit a vet and get yourself neutered.  Then you can sit in the window and wag your butt, the way my dog does since he had the procedure.  Surely there’s a court order somewhere that says you should not be allowed to procreate.